So some 8th-grader in Kentucky is in deep trouble for putting crumbled peanut butter cookies in the lunch-box of a fellow student that he knew to have severe peanut allergies. The poor prankster was arrested and booted out of school and is facing charges in juvenile court for felony "wanton endangerment." I think this is completely wrong for a number of reasons:
1) Peanut allergies are a myth. When you were growing up, did you ever meet a kid with some made-up allergy like that? No, I didn't think so. This trumped up "medical condition" is just a result of wussy parents coddling their wussy kids who are afraid of peanuts. I can understand the fear because it's not entirely clear whether peanuts are fruits, vegetables, or meat products, but please get over it.
2) Peanut butter cookies are fucking delicious. Especially if they're covered in chocolate - I actually wish this news report was more specific with respect to telling us exactly what type of peanut butter cookie this was. If it was a Girl Scout Tag-Along the prankster-kid should face fines for wasting one of the most delicious seasonal confections on the market. Anyway, if the "peanut allergy" kid had had the balls to take a bite I bet he would have loved it and never had a problem with peanuts again for the rest of his life.
3) The prank itself was hilarious. Positing for a moment that some sort of physical reaction would have taken place if the wussy allergy-kid had eaten the cookies, it would have been priceless. Those kids would have been talking about the look on his face and giving each other high-fives for the rest of their high school careers.
1 comment:
Amen. More truth has never been spoken on the internet.
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